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Conscious Commitment

I heard on the car radio on my way to work today that Gwyneth Paltrow and her husband Chris Martin are going through “conscious uncoupling”.  Now, I’m not a celebrity watcher but it was on the news and I was in the car so I had to endure this bit of celebrity news torture.  And because the report used the term “conscious uncoupling” and I had no idea what that meant I have to say I was curious to hear the rest of this news report. So if I have this straight “conscious uncoupling” is a five-week process in which individuals “devote themselves to a conscious process” of getting over a relationship without bitterness so that you don’t turn your “soul-mate” into “soul-hate”  (Katherine Woodward Thomas).  Now, I’m all for no bitterness and no hate if a marriage breaks up but I’m also saddened when I hear about a marriage breaking up.  Don’t get me wrong, I know people divorce and I know there are times people HAVE to divorce.  But, it takes two to make a marriage work, it takes one to walk away, to check-out, to ruin it.  So, as I drove along thinking of this new term I had to ask myself why are they not taking this time to consciously commit, to reaffirm their commitment to one other?  Commitment is a daily, conscious decision.  Marriage isn’t all about love and romance, it’s more about love and committment;  a love that you remind yourself of daily because love is not an emotion, it is a conscious act of volition.  Sound boring?  Trust me, it isn’t.  It is the best type of hard work you’ll ever find with the most wonderful rewards.  And if you find all this boring or not worth the effort then don’t get married and don’t commit.  Because as much as people want to be enlightened about not being bitter or hateful in a divorce, we’re only human.


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